Digital Chinese Take Out for the Expat's SoulPosts RSS Comments RSS

Overheard on China TV….

I have what is known as ‘artillery ears” from my days in the military. It means that I am not looking for particulate stuck in your teeth so much as I am trying to discern what the hell you are saying. I confess to turning on the English subtitles when I watch a show and I am often astonished that what I think I heard that is nowhere to be found in the printed text. So imagine my confusion as I tuned on CCTV News ( CCTV is to TV as Macau is to Vegas or as Hainan Island is to Hawaii or Stanley Ho is to monogamy) and thought I heard them talking about tycoon Stanley Ho’s bum. Sure enough they were calmly going on about the 84th richest guy in the world having been injured in Thailand while getting treatment for constipation. Jeez, there hasn’t been anything nearly as creepy on the news since Reagan had prostate surgery and they showed diagrams that should have been rated. It must have been one slow news day….

Anyway, poor Stanley has survived triads in Macau, four wives at the same time with seventeen kids (that would be a pain for most folks), Steve Wynn out of exile from Nevada and now he might have dodged the adult pampers scene with surgery. But he’s not rich or powerful enough to stop two of his wives from commenting about his posterior. They chatted up the Hong Kong Daily Apple (The Apple is to Journalism as George Bush is to elocution)

Stupid is a stupid signs

and the Ming Pao Daily. The Ming Pao Daily, was there on the scene to ascertain despite one wife’s denial at the hospital that there was not a problem that Stanley was indeed riding side-saddle. The paper claims they heard him speaking loudly (“Rectum Hell!”) in the background as they spoke to his wife. HE IS 84 AND HE CAN’T GO TO THE BATHROOM! OF COURSE HE SPEAKS LOUDLY!

To paraphrase the Anchor-What? Blog: Could there be anything worse than having various newspapers chronicle the internal and external happenings of your hind-parts in three languages?

I am headed home to watch DVDs now: I am on self-imposed news restriction until there is a real disaster somewhere.

Asian Humor,China Business,China Editorials,China Humor,Chinese Media,Hong Kong Stars,Humor,In the news,Macau,Weird China,中国

No responses yet

No Responses to “Overheard on China TV….”

  1. Matton Apr 8th 2007 at 5:26 am

    Damn, I miss having TV. I only get 3 channels now, and they’re all in Chinese. I have my choice of soap operas, sitcoms, or news. And my Chinese just isn’t good enough.
    I do miss the HK news. They usually had some really pointless stories.

  2. adminon Apr 8th 2007 at 9:43 am

    Thanks Matt…

    That close to HK and no cable, huh?

    I hope Shenzhen is treating you well other than that….

    OMBW

  3. PCon Apr 8th 2007 at 2:30 pm

    Happy Easter Lonnie! You seem to have regressed your theme to an original-flavoured-TTC. Also, can’t comment on your latest posts, or is that intentional?

  4. adminon Apr 9th 2007 at 1:22 am

    Hi PC…

    The Sadish theme keeps defaulting back to the old WP theme and shuts off comments…ARRGH…

    I will be changing in a few days…..

    Thanks for the head’s up…

    I could not get to the panel over the weekend as our server was down….

    Hope you had a great Easter….

    L

Leave a Reply